A Story Of Happenings That Advance The Plot
by SirLordWhAtEvEr
Summary: The title is a work in progress. Summary is: Harry gets money, daughter, older. Full summary is inside. If I have peaked your interest, click the link and read on.
1. An Introduction to Events Soon Occuring

Full summary: Ok. This is it. Harry inherits money, and a few houses form Sirius. Bellatrix (not quite as insane as Canon but not redemptionified either) becomes his temporary servant/confidant. He trains up, saves and then adopts a small orphan girl. Deciding that he needs to protect her, goes in to a time dilation (bear with me here) and comes out around seven years older, with a fourteen year old daughter. Will feature good Dumbledore, Molly bashing, possibly brainwashed Ginny and maybe a Harry/Tonks paring. I could make it Harry/Bellatrix if you like but I'm not to sure. I suppose you guys will give biased results, this being the Harry/Tonks sorting area. I don't care right now. It's late here in good old Britain. Nearly eleven o'clock GMT. You guys in America are probably having fun in the sun. Or rain depending upon natural atmospheric pressure occurences. I digress.

Sound ok? If you don't like the sound of it, you don't have to read it though I hope you will give it a chance.

Disclaimer: Ok. If I take my full copy of Harry potter books, copy them out into normal typed up format as opposed to books, then travel back in time with them, to that train ride, kill J. and send the books to the publisher in my name, I'll make millions! Let's see, the cost of building a time machine, powering it, covering up the murder with bribes. Also bribing the time police so they don't revert things back to normal… I'll just about break even and be where I am now. Of course I couldn't just leave Harry with Ginny. That would be cruel to do to a completely fictional character.

You know what? I'll just leave it as: I don't own Harry Potter, never will. Past, present or future. 

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Near the middle of the Lake District in northern England, lies the second largest mountain in Europe. Unfortunately for would be climbers, they can't see it. Or rather most of them can't. It is kept invisible to those without magic, muggles, as wizarding folk seem to enjoy calling them, by naturally occurring magic in the area. The magical animals of Britain know this and use it as a sanctuary. Most wizards don't climb as part of their 'not worth it with magic' mantra. As such, the animals are left to their own devices in many cases.

Half-way up the mountain, another magical race lives. The Dwarfs. Those that live in the mountain make one of the last strong Dwarfen societies left. In their stronghold, Høj Holde, they are masters of metallurgy, crafting and, to a lesser known extent, Banking. There are many advantages and disadvantages to using dwarves as your bankers as opposed to goblins. Basically it boils down to:

The dwarves won't steal your money at every opportunity, unlike goblins.

The dwarves aren't being heavily bribed by certain authority figures, unlike goblins.

And the dwarves banks are a fair bit out of the way, and not easily accessible to the public, unlike goblins.

Despite the difficulty to reach them, a few wizards saw the major benefits of using them as bankers. Sirius Black was one such wizard. He used private contractors to move all his family's money from the goblin bank to the Dwarfen one as soon as he was out of Azkaban.

It is for this reason that we carry on with the story. Harry Potter is about to receive a very important letter from the Dwarfen bankers in charge of wills and inheritance. Stand in front of the house at four privet drive and watch. Here it comes; carried by a heavily armoured eagle. The dwarves have trained their messengers to be able to hold such weight. It adds to security.

Inside the house it goes. Perching on the desk that takes up a large portion of the room. Harry potter is not currently in the room but it is fine. The eagle will wait here. Where it was told. It is trained well, after all.

We shall not wait though. We will go to the nearby park to find Harry. The-not-so-young any-more Potter is hanging upside down form the bars of a swing set. One swing seat is missing and the other is wrapped around the bar at the top, next to where Harry is. This means we will have to stand. The roundabout is in use and you might feel sick turning so much. Not to mention how hard it will be to concentrate on the happenings at hand.

You'll notice, if you look, that Harry is performing crunches from his vertically hanging position. Yes, he does seem quite determined. This is not just a random health craze, mind you. Though he is doing this to hopefully prolong his life expectancy. He has been doing similar muscle and stamina building exercises for a few months now. It started a week after his godfather died. You see, he wanted to avoid people for a while, so locked himself in the room of requirement. A marvellous piece of work, if I do say so myself. The room saw what he really needed and produced an imprint of the late Sirius Black, his godfather and believer of Dwarfen banking superiority. It was taken from the last time he was at Hogwarts, during the previous year, and helped Harry to overcome his grief and guilt about the circumstances of his godfather's death.

He then helped train Harry to fight; to defend himself and others; to win. Harry had of course spent a long time getting to know his Godfather better. He hadn't left the room until the final day of school, where he acted despondent all the time until he left the others view. They will no doubt send him some letters soon demanding that he open up to them. We shall see.

For now, watch this young woman. She looks about twenty three; twenty four. Wouldn't you say? She is approaching Harry now. Listen, for he is about to speak.

"Hey Tonks." I told you.

"Wotcher, Harry. How'd you know it was me?" She sounds a little confused, no? She's back to her normal look now.

"You can't hide your beauty, Tonks. It always shows." She's blushing? It would seem Sirius has trained a new Marauder. How interesting. Also, notice how she can't keep glancing at his chest and stomach, showing due to an untucked shirt falling around his arms. He does have a good, strong figure. Enough to make you jealous? You shouldn't be so insecure. You look wonderful.

"Spent too much time with Sirius, he's bee…" She fades off. She looks a little worried now. Afraid of his reaction. Let's see how he does react, hmm?

"We can still talk about him, Tonks. I won't explode." He's smiling now. Good. "I had help get over it from a very smart building."

"So what're you doing?" Her hair is back to purple. Did you not notice the colour change when she thought she'd said something wrong? Yes, a remarkable talent that.

"Training." Quite a short reply. He is still doing crunches.

"And the position?"

"It adds more weight to lift. Harder strain. More reward." His reply is halting. Delivered in short bursts as he moves up and down. "Plus I have a great vantage point to look down your cleavage." Don't worry. Tonks' yells are merely mock outrage. How can I tell its mock outrage? The smile, the blush and the fact she only lightly slapped his arm as opposed to heavily slapping his face. I pick up these things.

Harry's getting down now; stretching a bit. They're talking about fairly inconsequential things. Harry's flirting with her still. Let's leave the two of them be for now. Nothing will come of it for now. Though Tonks will return home with a lingering blush and have confusing dreams about a certain black haired teenager. It's not hard to figure out whom.

Why don't we check on some of the more prominent members of Wizarding society. We'll stop off in London first, where the current Minister for magic is sitting at his desk, watching more and more paperwork find its way to his in tray. It's enlarged on the inside so it won't take up to much space. Right now, it's about three square kilometres. He finally released the news that Voldemort is actually back. It has caused much trouble so far. More than keeping it covered up. Though I'd have to say the cover up most likely increased the current paperwork.

You've noticed the glass and bottle? Yes. It appears the poor minister has decided to drown his troubles in as much alcohol as he can find. He's about five minutes away from breaking down and going to the Janitor's closet to find a bottle of white spirit. It's really quite sad. I don't think we should stay and watch him drink himself to near death. Unless you want to?

You do?

Well that's too bad. This story needs us to go somewhere else. Come along; leave the poor drunken man to his doom. It's only polite to let him wallow away in solitude.

Further north, to Scotland. There is a castle. This is Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. A lovely place and home to that marvellous room I told you about. This place has a proper, homely, castle feel to it, no? The worn smooth steps. Brilliant armour suits and cleaned halls fill me such a sense of nostalgia. I wouldn't expect you to understand.

No, don't think I'm insulting your intelligence, far from it. It is merely a personal feeling. I am sure you could very well have one similar but it will never be exactly the same.

Here we are. The headmasters office. A wonderfully diverse room, no? Filled with eccentricity and order. Books stacked with a madman's method. Twirling, puffing, flashing silver instruments, meticulously arranged so that once every sixty seven minutes, the puffs, flashes and twirls spell out the words 'Albus Rocks'.

The next showing of this small piece of trivia is in thirteen minutes so for now, we'll look around a bit more. Behind the desk there, is Albus Dumbledore. He's currently working on some intrinsic Arithmancy equations; Hoping to find a way to get Harry out of Privet drive faster.

What? You'd expected him to want Harry to stay there for as long as possible? Were you expecting some sort of twisted maniac that could rival Voldemort? Stewing away over a desk made of baby skulls? Working on paper made from the skin of house elves? Writing with a bone taken from ribs of a pregnant unicorn? Trying to find some way to take all of Harry's money and power for himself?

No. That isn't like Dumbledore at all. He had all the best intentions for Harry when he left him with the Dursleys He had expected them to take him in as a family member would. The parental like love would fuel the wards into completion in a matter of ten years. They would be charged enough for Harry to be fully protected for his whole life. He would never have to return to the Dursleys again, if he didn't want to.

When a starved, haunted young boy showed up to be sorted when Harry's name was called, Dumbledore's heart broke. He couldn't believe anyone could treat anyone else, especially family in this way. The wards, he soon found were close to breaking, instead of fully charged. They protected Harry as long as he spent two months a year in that house. Harry needed this protection to help with the prophecy. Without it, he wouldn't have love's power on his side.

It killed Albus Dumbledore to see the young boy's face when he was told he had to go back that first summer. His eyes dimmed. Albus had only seen them glow with hope again when he thought he could live with Sirius. The hopeful, wondered glow throughout his first year died when he was made to return.

And so, here is Albus now, frantically, as he has always done in his spare time for five years now, trying to find a way to charge the wards faster, or to move them over to people that truly love Harry. That number is dwindling. With Sirius dead, it leaves only a handful of people that can truly love Harry. Remus is too afraid of rejection to really connect with Harry. Though he has nothing to fear. Harry's heart is still bigger than anyone else's, despite years of abuse.

Dumbledore has thought about setting him up with a girl. But most of the girls his age are simply squealing fan-girls. So are most younger and older ones. Besides, Harry hasn't seemed very interested in girls to Albus. No, I'm not saying that he's gay. He's just been raised to believe no one could really love him so the thought hasn't really crossed his mind. This is what Albus thinks. We've seen now though that he's finally been introduced to woman by Sirius. It would appear now that he likes older woman, eh?

Who knows? With his physical improvement, maybe he'll start to attract some girls' attention. He is quite handsome after all. Though I prefer those with longer hair.

Besides, Dumbledore would never meddle in somebody's love life. Especially that boy who had seen far to much to be a boy anymore. Using a love potion is just as bad as the Imperius in Dumbledore's opinion and should be banned form being sold. Of course too many Wizengamot members rely on it to keep their spouses in line. They wouldn't ban it.

Hey look. See, 'Albus Rocks', just like I told you. Neat, huh?

Enough here, we'll leave the man to his work. He may discover a solution eventually. Hmm? Oh yes. The Phoenix. Remarkable creature, isn't it? It's looking at you, you say? Well yes, it can most likely see you. Don't worry, it won't tell. Truly remarkable.

Come on then. One last stop before we return to check on Harry's progress. What trip would be complete without a look into the evil nature of Voldemort? Or rather, Tom Riddle, as he was once known.

Riddle manor is in Cornwall so we'll head over there. No doubt he is torturing his followers for their failures at the recent department of mystery fiasco. Some one is missing though. It would seem that Bellatrix isn't here. How do you suppose she got off? Maybe it was because she killed Sirius Black and Voldemort believes it broke Harry's spirit? Could be.

What do you think?

Yes that is quite possible.

As interesting as the wordless screams are we really should be going…

Wait a second? Is Voldemort wearing sunglasses? My word he is. And a toupee. How intriguing. Well, no time to dwell on such matters. You're dwelling on it, aren't you? I had best get us out of here before you do something stupid like poke it to see if it's actually a sleeping cat. Don't try and deny it. I saw that look. It was the 'that looks like a sleeping cat on his head and I need to find out if it is or not' look. I'll admit it does look like a cat but we must be getting on. Harry is going to open his letter soon.

Got you're attention, huh? Let's go. Back to Privet drive. Dudley's second bedroom. Current occupant: Harry Potter. And Hedwig. An eagle is visiting.

He's already opened it. Damn. The dwarves normally have a flair for letters and put a fanfare in the opening mechanisms. Well, nothing to do about it now. Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll get another one. Let's see. What does it say?

Dear Master Potter,

Fullest commiserations on the passing of your godfather, Sirius Black. He has left us with a will to carry out and you have been named as its primary benefactor. The reading will take place at ten a.m. on Wednesday 23rd of June in the reading hall of our main bank branch in Høj Holde. This letter will act as a portkey when tapped with a wand or finger, and will transport you to our entry hall. Mr. Black was a valued and appreciated user of our bank and will be missed. We hope that, after visiting, you will consider the Dwarfs for your future banking needs.

Sincerely,

Yjoric Stoneshoes, Master of Inheritance.

Sounds interesting. We should go to that, don't you think? Yes. For now, let's observe Harry's reaction. I see a little guilt, grief. Lots of determination and more that just a bit of happiness. What's he going to say?

"Wednesday? That's tomorrow. I can't wait. It'll be a chance to remember Sirius' memory and I'll get out away from Little Whinging for a while. Great."

I think we should leave him be for now. We'll catch up with the green eyed saviour in a few days. For now, there's a carnival that I want to go to in Coventry. They do lovely cotton candy there. Care to join me?

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End note: Yes another one. This has been rattling around in my head and I wanted to write it down. More to come soon.

Can anyone tell me what important (In my view) contraption was released in Japan on the 23rd of June in 1996?

The first one to get it right will win a free cookie. Oh wait, I made this joke before. Basically the cookie is non existent. That's the punchline.

How about this one. The first person to guess right will have the feeling of joy bubble inside them when I say it was them that got it right first? Will that do? Okay then, I'll see you next chapter.

Also, suggest a much better and still suitable reward for correct guessing that will cost me no money. Time is less important to me so it can be time consuming. The person who suggests the prize I like the most will be rewarded by being the first to receive that prize. My suggestion is a drawing of the winner. I'm becoming better at Manga styles. K? Also, a prize to someone who can come up with a super-awesome-hyper-(positive descriptive word)-Title. I will be the only judge in all competitions so I feel it is only fair to inform you that I accept bribes in the form of money. Also in the forms of manga drawings of me and little wooden effigies of me and Superman playing croquet. You'll have to guess what I look like (Roguish good looks will win you points, so will purple hair).

That is all.

Maybe I'm crazy?  
Maybe you're crazy?  
Maybe we're crazy?  
Probably


	2. A Continuation of Said Events

(Awesome) Author's note: Hello again Wally watchers. If you're from America, I think it might actually be Waldo watchers, but me being the stuck up, stereotypical, crumpet eating, tea drinking British Toff that I am, I believe it sounds odd. So there.

Both 'DrgnMstr' and 'darkness created by sorrow and pain' got it right but 'DrgnMstr' got it first so yay for you. And a small yay for 'depressing named person' too. Bask in your bubbly feeling, both of you. And any one else. Feel joy knowing that they have a bubbly feeling while reading this part.

Only one suggestion for a name so I will leave the question up for a while. I like the current suggestion quite a lot, though, so don't feel bad Paladin-Kriss. All is well.

Another chapter, and the plot develops with the gentle unfurling of a violet in bloom under the first rays of light on a crisp spring morning.

In other news, I melted a spice girls CD with a microscope today. It was beyond satisfying. Toodle pip!

Disclaimer: We've covered that it isn't mine so why don't we just drop it ok. It's hard enough knowing it without you lot rubbing it in.

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My goodness, is that the time, that next Ferris Wheel ride will have to wait I'm afraid. Sirius' Will reading will start soon. Can you believe we spent all that time here? I did tell you that the cotton candy was delicious though, did I not? I still think it was funny that you thought that guy was Voldemort. While I'll admit he had pale skin, Voldemort can not dance that well. I know, I've seen him at the Annual Death Eater new years bash. Scary stuff. Alas, we can not dwindle in this bubbly atmosphere for much longer. Let us make haste to the Lake District; where Mr. Potter will soon receive a vast amount of money. But I foreshadow too soon. Come.

You must agree that the Dwarfen race has style. This place is a truly phenomenal sight to behold. I particularly like the detail in that dragon sculpture over there. It truly does the memory of Galingas a great favour. What are you looking at?

Ah. I see you expected something different from these dwarves. Well Dwarfs are short yes, but they are not all ugly, bearded folk. That one there is but it would be rude to say that to his face. No, many are quite handsome and beautiful people. They also aren't as dour as many people would believe. Look at the jovial acrobatic act over there for example. You thought that dwarves don't like to be tossed? It is actually a popular minority sport.

Over here is the bank. Grand, isn't it? The gold fits well here though, not tackily thrown in for effect. Inwards we go, for that is where the current target of our intricate wanderings lies. The Dwarfen banks are always so much better lit than Goblin ones. Most likely, in my own, humble, opinion, to intimidate customers to sign everything quickly and get out, not realizing they authorized the Goblins to take all their belongings lying in the bank at that time including, if they so chose, said persons clothes.

Dwarfs have no interest in causing Human suffering, and as such, light their rooms fully. Here is the inheritance hall. And look, there is Harry, going in now. Let's follow him. I have no doubt that there will be a confrontation. There always does seem to be one when he attends will readings.

"Harold James Potter!" Told you. Though I'm quite sure his full name is Harrison, not Harold. Of course if I were him, I'd legally change my name to Archibald. Archibald Potter. Pretty good, huh?

And who would have thought it would be Molly Weasley of all people to yell? I mean, it's not like she has a history of yelling at people when she doesn't agree. Oh, they're talking again. I'll quiet down again.

"You should not be here young man. It is not safe. Death Eaters could be anywhere. You should return home at once. I will take you." Very bossy, huh? How will Harry take this?

"No." Simple. To the point. Firm. A fairly good response all around

"What do you mean, no, Harry dear? Come along now, you aren't thinking straight. It's that Black's fault. You're grieving too much. Forget him and think about your family." What an odd thing for a not at all overbearing or pressuring mother to say to someone isn't related to.

"Sirius was my family. My only family." He looks angry now. "He left me something to help remember him and I will accept it and remember him in a good light. Let go of my arm and either sit down or leave." Oh, I hadn't noticed that she grabbed his arm, had you? Here comes Dumbledore. What will he say?

"Leave him be, Molly. He has more right than you to be here." Good on you Dumbledore. A verbal slap in the face if I ever saw one.

There, she let go. Take a seat. Let's here what Sirius left everyone. Do you think he left me anything? I doubt it. I don't think he really knows me so well. Oh, it's starting. Pass the popcorn.

"I will now read out the will of the late Sirius Black.

"I, Sirius Black, of vaguely sound mind and unrivalled sexy body, do hereby leave my last will and testament, for those I have left behind.

"I'll keep it short and sweet. I leave one hundred thousand Galleons to the following people Remus Lupin, Andromeda Tonks, Nymphadora Tonks and that man that took me in while I was a stray dog on the run from the law. He lives in London, 52 Festive Road. Mr. Benn. I believe his name was. Such remarkable fashion sense. He may not be magical so convert it into pounds.

"I leave fifty thousand Galleons to both Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley for helping Harry through tough times when I couldn't, provided that none of the money is ever used for or by Molly Weasley." What an odd request. Mind you, it's not so odd seeing how she acted before. I suppose Sirius knew something others didn't.

"I leave one hundred and fifty thousand galleons to Albus Dumbledore for his bird club. You'll have to ask Harry for use of the Headquarters building as…

"Everything else is to go to Harrison James Potter and nobody else." Aha. I knew his full name was Harrison. I still think Archibald would be better.

"That's all, have pleasant lives."

I do love a good will reading. It gets the blood pumping to witness such heart warming moments of sincerity as people accept what is left in kind hearted rememberance. They also normally have a buffet set up for afterwards. I like to dip carrot sticks in the trifle before I eat them. It makes for a wonderful contrast of hard and soft, vegetable sugar and hyper sugar. Oh don't look at me like that.

"I am Yjoric Stoneshoes, Master of inheritance. I have read the full will of Sirius Orion Black. His tasks will be carried out swiftly. Any questions?" Well I'd like to know how his clan got the name Stoneshoes. How about you? Maybe someone will ask him.

Or not. "Mr. Potter, if I may speak with you?"

"Most certainly not!" Is that Mrs. Weasley again? You'd think she'd learn "You will go home now, Harry." He's ignoring her. Good.

"I'd be happy to." Let's follow them; I want to see what this is about. Here we go. Take a seat on the spare chair. Its ok, I'll stand. Ooh look, a miniature dragon sculpture. I love these. It's so detailed. Dwarfen craftwork for sure. Do you think I could buy one of these here? I want one so badly.

"What would you like to speak to me about?"

"Mr. Black didn't trust the Goblins with his money and, in a strictly unbiased opinion, rightly so. He asked us to offer you the chance to move all your possessions in Gringotts to our branch here. There are several advantages, of course, to this action. Goblins charge you interest to use their vaults so your money is always reducing in some way. We will pay you interest at a fixed yearly rate. In return you agree to allow us to invest this money wisely into companies that will help us better our economy. Whether or not our investments gain money, your interest rate will be the same."

Sounds like a good deal to me. Better than goblins. Maybe I should move my money here. Of course I don't trust the goblins either. I keep all my money in a box under my bed.

"How would I access money with your branch situated in the Lake District, exactly." It seems Harry has figured out where in the world he is.

"We have several branches in the Human world but most wizards don't know of them due to their placement in the mundane people's world. We offer a debit card system that takes money directly from your vaults here to pay for mundane items. And a linked portal bag to retrieve galleons for magical purchases."

Useful. That settles it. I'm dusting off the box tomorrow and bringing it here. You should too. Unless you already have a suitable banking system. I heard Natwest are quite good nowadays. Northern Rock seems strong, as well.

"How much would it cost to have all my possessions transferred?" Harry's thinking about costing. I see he isn't completely dense in financial matters after all.

"Fifty Galleons for each Vault transferred is the best rate we can offer which totals to one hundred and fifty Galleons. You may be able to find some private contractors that could do it for less but asking around may alert the goblins to your plans, at which point they would remove as much as possible from the vaults you may not be aware of."

I wonder what they are. I hope Harry asks.

"What are the two aside from my trust vault?"

Oh good he did. It's like he knows what I want. How marvelous. I suppose I am directing this story for you so it's not that unbelievable that he would ask.

"The Potter Family vault and the Rosé Family Vault" Rosé? Now where have I heard that before? I remember, I was having a fabulous tour of a castle in southern France. It was there, I'm sure, that I heard it.

"Rosé?"

"A fairly ancient French wizarding family. I would imagine it came from your mother's side as the Potters are purely Nordic in their ancestry. It was thought they died out but no one knows what would happen to the money until now." I knew it. Didn't I tell you I'd heard it before? And I had.

"They have an estate in the north of France." Drat. Well one out of two isn't bad. "It is being used as a Vineyard at the moment and is kept under regular upkeep by servants and workers. This should have been left to you in a will along with knowledge of the full Potter family vault. I take it you didn't know of this?

"No, I haven't heard about it."

"I imagine the goblins held it back in hope that once your line dies out with no knowledge of the vaults, they would be able to claim it back, legally as their property. They could not take it all with a legal heir still alive. I do imagine that they have taxed as much as is legal. And most likely more after that. We shall endeavour to reimburse any discovered losses. We Dwarfs do not take stealing lightly and the goblins have long been our rivals in business and enemies on the battle field. Raiding some goblin colonies should get a message across."

"I see. I believe I will use Dwarfen services then please, Master Stoneshoes. If you don't mind me asking, how did you get such a name?"

"Not at all. It is a proud story of my clan. Twelve generations ago, the original founder of our clan was attacked by some dark wizards. They conjured stone shoes on him and threw him into a lake. The next day, he emerged from the lake alive and well. He spent three years tracking down the wizards and beat each one to death with the stone shoes which he had carried with him all that time."

Obviously, the moral of that story is not to piss off a dwarf. They can hold one hell of a long term grudge. Wouldn't you agree? Liked the explanation, did you? I'll agree it reveals the namesake's origin but I find it a tad unbelievable that a dwarf held his breath for almost a day. Still. A stubborn race if ever there was any. Harry seems pleased by the tale too.

"I'd like to know about the properties Sirius left me, if you would?"

"12 Grimmauld Place, Black Castle, and an unnamed villa on the south east coast."

"Could I have the location of the Villa please? It seems interesting." I knew he'd want to see the villa. I didn't bother saying anything as it was just so obvious. You thought so too, right?

"Certainly. Here are the co-ordinates, a map of the surrounding area and a portkey to the grounds. The activation phrase is 'Villa'."

Not very original. But then again, no one ever accused the dwarves of being imaginative, did they?

"I should also bring it to your attention that you have been emancipated as a result of inheriting the Black title of Viscount. You can legally perform magic and are eligible for an apparition license exam. The inheritance may cause a power surge in your magic as it adapts to the responsibilities of the Blacks. You should experience it on your next birthday. You will receive your full Potter title when you reach the age of seventeen. It is noted that you may experience some more power surges at this time and some have claimed visions of previous family members. This is only prevalent in the Potter line, none others. That's all I can tell you."

Well, as interesting as this is, why don't we go and see how others are reacting to the news of their inheritance. You probably noticed that Hermione and Ron weren't here? Perhaps later we shall find out whether or not Molly Weasley will inform them of their recent monetary acquisitions. Something tells me she won't be too happy to spread the news that she'd done something that made Sirius want to exemplify her from his money giving.

Out in the reading hall, Remus is listening to a very excited Dumbledore. Shall we see why he is so happy?

"Don't you see, Remus? If Harry is indeed emancipated by the Black inheritance, as I believe he will be, the excess power surge will fully charge the wards. He doesn't even have to be within the wards. The protection that is still around him will be charged. It may not charge the house wards but he will be free of that accursed place. This is wonderful." I see. He has come up with a solution then. Remus still seems to be in shock from the money given to him. Can you see? He is nodding along but not paying attention. I could ask him now any number of embarrassing questions such as ones involving whether he is impotent or not and he would answer the affirmative without realizing it.

I shall refrain, of course, from that tempting act. As will you as we are to travel to the Burrow now to see the Weasleys and I do believe Hermione is there too. Notice though, Nymphadora Tonks over there. She seems to be feeling rather confused still. Note the look of concentration. I imagine she will act on it soon in one way or another; either by confiding in Harry about her new feelings or by actively pursuing the dating scene to remove the feelings via distraction. Personally, I hope for the former. Though if it were the latter, I could always try my luck.

What's that? You wouldn't mind a date with her?

I suppose you could ask her out. After me though. After all, you wouldn't even be here if it weren't for my expert narration. Don't take that tone with me. I have every right to ask her out first. No don't sulk. It won't work. I'll stop. I'll stop this story right now and turn around. We can just as easily head home now and we won't get to the end of the story. Is that what you want?

That's what I thought.

Now that that's settled. Leeward, to the Burrow we shall go.

Yes it is a rather funny looking house. You just know magic's involved somewhere. Probably everywhere. Well we can't stand out here in the rain, can we? And yes it is raining. Hadn't you noticed? Actually, wait here a minute, I want to catch some rain on my tongue. The magic in areas such as these give them as much flavour variance as a bag of Bertie Botts every flavour beans.

Ooh jacket potato. Lovely. Nothing beats a good jacket potato. Alright, in we go.

Very quaint in here isn't it? A nice homely feel to things. Let's see, who's home today then? We've got Molly, recently returned from the Dwarfen keep. She's muttering rather nasty things there. Listen if you want but I shall not. I have heard enough obscenities in my days to be well enough versed already. And Ron and Hermione are playing a game of wizarding chess. They really haven't diversified much in their games, these wizards, have they?

Perhaps I shall introduce them to Uno. I've always enjoyed that game. Or Rummikub. Mahjong perhaps?

They seem quite oblivious to their new monetary stature. Hermione is not fantasizing about all the stuff she can finally get and Ron is not thinking about the number of rare books he could buy with the money.

That is the right way around, isn't it? I confess that this is not my area of expertise.

What's that? It's the other way around? _Hermione_ likes books? And _Ron_ was the poor one to begin with? I see. Thank you. I shall endeavor to learn more about these two in the future.

The twin Weasleys aren't here. Working on their joke shop, no doubt. I believe we should have time to visit them soon. I'll even give you a small amount of spending money.

Arthur Weasley and the two eldest are at work. That leaves young Ginevra Weasley. Let's look in her room and see what she is up to.

Well, some pink, a few posters of cute singers. A fluffy pillow. Makeup. Seems like any other teenage girls room to me. Wait, what were _you_ expecting? Did you think she'd be slitting her wrists and offering the blood at the shrine of her god, Harry Potter? You really need to stop with this _evil_-imposing on people. I'll admit she has one picture of Harry, who can blame her though? He's dreamy. But it's not even surrounded by candles or framed with a lock if his hair. Nowhere near as good as my shrine to Luna…

Oh wait.

You didn't hear that.

Good.

Um…

It's perfectly normal you know, you don't have to look at me like tha…

Ooh, the Floo is flaring up. That will provide a much needed distraction to this rather awkward moment. Let's go. After you, I insist.

Look, it's Albus Dumbledore, no doubt here to congratulate Ron and Hermione on their recent monetary gains, because of course Molly has told them the great news already.

"Ah, Molly. I've just come to congratulate Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger on their recent monetary gains, I trust you've already told them of course but I would like to offer my own input to their do doubt, non-chess playing happiness."

"Oh, it must have slipped my mind. It's fine. I'll tell them later, their quite busy now, erm… playing chess." She really doesn't know how to make a quick cover story does she?

Ah well, Albus will of course feel obligated to tell them.

"Ah. Well, I must say I feel obligated to tell them." It seems to me as though he's starting to suspect some foul play on Molly Weasley's part. Only time will tell. Time, and my amazing narrating skills. Sorry, my ego was feeling a little mistreated lately. My voice has been known to cause orgasms in women between the age of puberty and death. Yep. It's just that good. I think that should be enough for now. On with the story.

"Ok. They're through there."

"Thank you." Might as well follow him. Unless you're the kind of person that would want to see Molly Weasley worry her self sick over the fact her youngest son is being told of money he has received. Then again, you wanted to watch Fudge drink himself to death so it wouldn't surprise me if you were.

"Ron, Hermione. I have some good news. Sirius' will has been read today. Both of you have received fifty thousand galleons each. I wish to congratulate you but must also inform you that the request was made that none of this money is to be used for or by your mother. It is a magically binding will so the money will be removed if the request is ever ignored."

He made it pretty clear, didn't he? For the best I suppose. Look Ron's thinking about all the stuff he can by at last and Hermione is fantasizing over the rare books she can get.

"And Harry would like me to invite you to his new home for his birthday. He has affectionately named it the Dog House and has moved in today. I will arrange transport for you on the thirty first of July. Have a pleasant evening and enjoy your newly acquired monetary gains."

It seems Albus has had that conversation with Harry then. Why are we waiting here then?

Let's go see him move in.

Ooh. A lovely place this, roomy, warm. An open plan bottom floor with a winding stair case. Very modern. Oh wow, and the south and sea facing walls are made entirely of glass. That's marvelous. He can watch the sunrise and get the last few hours of sunlight to line up the main room. Who's that sitting on the stairs. Some woman. I know her…

She's that one. The one who did that thing. Something important.

Look, Harry's coming in now. He'll explain who it is by randomly blurting out her name in both disbelief and anger. I know this one it's…

"Lestrange!?"

Oooooh. Can you feel the Drama? The RAW emotion? And tension? And… and … umm… More Drama? Yeah. I can too.

Do you think we could get some more candy floss for this?

\\\\\/////  
/////\\\\\

Hey there again. So lately I've been watching Dr Horrible's sing-a-long blog. I think you Americans can watch it for free, if you already haven't, just search for it on Google. If you have seen it, how amazingly awesome beyond all belief is it?

We British are not in range for the satellite that lets Americans watch it, supposedly. I don't really understand that bit. But it is well worth it in my opinion to fork out just under four pounds to get it from Itunes. Or you can be smart and Illegally download it from somewhere. Itunes is good because you can put it on repeat so it plays constantly. Or just repeat the best act. (Act 2)

I'm not sure about other English speaking countries; you know, Australia and all that.

Enough with my shameless product placement though,

Another question is…

Mr Benn. I would assume you all know who he is? (If not, shame on you)

If so, I pose this challenge to you:

Kindly guess what my favourite episode is.

Here's a hint: the memento he gains from his adventure is a medal.

Prize this time is the same as last. A bubbly feeling and a note that you are smart in the top notes.

See you next chapter.

This appeared as a moral dilemma  
'Cause at first it was weird I was sworn to eliminate  
The worst of the plague that devoured humanity  
It was true I was vague  
On the how  
So how can it be that you  
Have shown me the light?


	3. A Proper Advancement at Last

The disclaimer mobile, Away! Yeah so I don't own this.

"darkness created by sorrow and pain was right again. It was the Balloonist that one a place as my favourite Mr. Benn episode. Hurray for him. Once again the prize is just a bubbly feeling of joy along with the smugness that you got it right. So...

Not much else, on with the story!

o--o  
V--V  
I--I

Now, I know you wanted to see the big confrontation between Harry and Bella. _BUT_, I was thinking that perhaps we could instead go to the London zoo? How about it? We could… see all the nice… penguins? That'd be… fun? Yeah? Oh come on, who doesn't want to see penguins? With their… cute little wings and waddley feat.

Fine. We'll watch the confrontation. I mean, I was just trying to spice things up with a bit of non-magical variance. I heard they have lions there too…

No? Alright then. I think you're turning into some sort of Voyeur though. Whatever. It doesn't matter now anyway. It's not like I wanted to go to the zoo with you… see the cute little penguins.

"Potter, I can explain, I swear." Stand back a bit, we're about to be splattered in Bella brains.

"Fine. Explain."

Eh?

"Eh?" That's just what my reaction was. "You aren't going to splatter my brains over some invisible, possibly voyeuristic, audience?" She's as disbelieving as me. I mean, I even bought a water proof coat to catch the splatter. Brain matter doesn't wash out of white shirts easily, you know.

"Do you want me to kill you?"

"No." Who would?

"Good. Now talk."

Oh great. A long talk sequence. You know, I'm just going to play with this here yo-yo. Don't mind me; I'll be as quiet as possible.

"Right. I didn't mean to kill Sirius…"

"Happy about it though, weren't you?"

"I was insane. Look, I'm not saying I regret his death. I regret that I was the one who killed him. It sounds odd but the Blacks were always paranoid that one would kill us and take our place in the family ranking. A previous Head acted on this paranoia and set up a genetic spell that means, if someone were to kill their Head, they would lose their magic. A repeat offence would cause death."

Hey, look! I got it to stay at the bottom for a while before it came back up. That's pretty neat, eh? I wonder if I should try a 'walking the dog'.

"So I have no magic and the only way to gain it back is to serve the current Head until magic deems my service enough to repay the blood debt caused by killing Sirius."

"Why should I trust you?"

"Really, you shouldn't. If it makes you feel better though. The dark mark feeds off of my magic. With my magic gone, it disappeared, see." Oh yeah. Plain old skin. That's helpful, supposedly.

"And you got here, how?"

"I appeared here when I told the magic I wanted to serve off my debt. And I will"

Wow, life's a bitch. So with Harry as the new Head of House Black, he just gained a servant. You just know he's thinking some sort of pervy thoughts about that service don't you.

Hey, I know a useful plot device; let's find out what they're thinking. I'll try it on Bellatrix first because I haven't done it in a while and her brain death would be less of a blow on this story's direction. Imagine that; Harry Potter and the Massive Cranial Failure.

Anyhow…

Let's see, just above the right ear, push through to the elbow. Curl hand into fist. Turn it counter clockwise ninety degrees. And wiggle the fingers.

Right, a little bit of static but she's thinking almost exactly what I was. People don't think much of the Potter heir these days do they? Let's see what Harry's thinking; see if I was right.

"I could use someone to talk to for a while. I plan to be training here and it will get quite lonely." Too late. Wow, I guess he isn't that pervy after all.

"Talk?"

"I'm not some sex crazed hormonal teenager." I find that hard to believe, personally. "Well maybe a little but I have morals. Why don't we start now? What would you like to talk about?"

"The dark lord will destroy you, Potter."

"Ah. One of my favourite points of conversation. You sounded a lot like the little Malfoy clone, by the way. Now, I'm sure old Voldy told you to receive the prophecy. I happen to know that this prophecy has quite nicely provided me with an as of yet unknown power so that I may be equal with and/or better than your lord.

"So really, I figure it will be fairly even and may more or less end up on the size and skill of our armies. You Death Eaters have numbers but you have to admit that at least half of those numbers are made up of inbred gits who barely know how to hold a wand."

Look here, I did an 'around the world'.

"This prophecy…?"

"I will not tell you any of it unless I somehow decide to trust you. You aren't to tell anyone about it, understand?"

"Yes." Aw, she's sad. That's just terrible. How could that mean man Harry hurt her feeling by not telling her something that would help a crazed maniac with questionable fashion sense to kill him?

Sarcasm is hard to put across in narration, isn't it?

"Good. What do you want for Tea?"

As nice as that sounds, and I'm not being sarcastic now, we need to pursue further goals at the time being. A quick stop in with Tom and we'll be on our way I think.

Riddle Manor. Sounds like a Batman scene. Now this is nowhere near as nice as Harry's new house. It's all drab and dark. Look at that! Vines growing along the window sills. Poor gardening, that. The vines are all brown and dead. They block up the windows, too, so it will be hard to open them in summer to get a nice soft breeze going through the house. And the front door! Who could have deemed such a monstrosity worthy of room to room transportation? I mean… a skull with fire in its eye sockets? Just embedded like that in the wood?

It's just so tacky.

You go ahead with out me; I need a second to lie down.

No, no. Go on. I'll be fine. Oh wait. I'm ok now, let's go. The meetings starting.

"All hail the mighty Lord Voldemort. Our master. Enactor of the great Slytherin's task. Purger of filth. Crusher of his enemies' skulls. Master of death. Scion to a better world. Owner of impeccable fashion sense." Wow. Worship in stereo. I need something like that for my Luna shrine…

It's perfectly normal!

Anyway, I don't remember that last bit being there last time. I suppose it's to support his own ego.

"Now we art all here, we must recount the Deeds of the Day." Where have I heard that before? Let's see who starts first.

"I have tempted a priest. As he walked down the street and saw the pretty girls in the sun, I put doubt in his mind. He would have been a saint, but within a decade, we will have him."

A little outdated and I just know I've seen this before somewhere.

"I have corrupted a politician. I let him think a tiny bribe would not hurt. Within a year, we shall have him." Not quite so outdated but the Déjà vu is uncanny.

They're all looking at that one now. He must be next.

"You'll like this. I tied up _every_ portable telephone system in Central London for forty five minutes at lunchtime.

Huh, I can hear a cricket. That didn't go down too well. Shame. I thought it was quite ingenious.

"Yes?" Ooh, Voldy isn't happy. "And then what?"

"Look, it wasn't easy,

"That's all?"

"Look, People…"

"Crucio." Terrible. Just terrible. Is that what this world has come to? Where ingenuity is rewarded by torture? It's enough to make me think about moving to Argentina and become a hermit known to the locals as El Loco Barba. He does sound quite smooth when he screams though. He should give up the Death Eater lifestyle and take up Opera.

"I will not have ineffectiveness amongst my ranks." That's not exactly true. I mean, look. That guy's picking his nose with his wand. And the safety's off.

Wait. Why _is_ there a safety setting on his wand? You know what, I don't particularly care. Let's get out of here before Voldy breaks out the Karaoke machine. Then again, I can do a pretty good cover of 'Sugar, sugar' by The Archies.

Nah, we'll just leave, me thinks. Come on. Another meeting to go to.

"All hail the mighty Albus Dumbledore. Our Headmaster. Defender of Muggleborns. Defyer of the terrible Slytherin's task. Protector of our skulls. Scion to a better world. Owner of impeccable fashion sense."

Wow. The similarities are startling are they not?

"Now, Fred, George. I've asked you to stop doing that. I have no wish to be worshiped like some sort of megalomaniac wearing a toupee. I have made too many mistakes in my long, long life to be considered mighty. I must of course agree with the one about my fashion sense."

Of course, no ones ego could refute their own fashion sense as anything less that perfect.

"I call the four hundred and twelfth meeting of The Order of The Phoenix into fruition. Minerva, if you please."

I've always liked the Transfiguration Professor. I'm not quite sure why.

"Since the public admission that Voldemort has returned, Fudge has not made any more public appearances. It is believed that he has chosen to run away with a considerable amount of ministry budget to another country. He attempted to cover up his withdrawal by placing the money taken out under the Ministry's Alcohol spendings."

"Thank you, Minerva. Severus?"

"The Dark Lord is growing more powerful than we had feared, Albus. He has gained enough power for a ritual to grow hair."

"Surely, Severus, this can not be true. Such a ritual would take an ungodly amount of power. Could he not be trying to intimidate us with some sort of hair substitute? A wig, perhaps?"

"I'm afraid not, Albus. I have seen the hair myself. I have intrinsic knowledge of such things and there is no way I could be fooled. I must also note that he may have acquired enhancements to his eyes. He has been wearing sunglasses at all times in order to, I believe, hide his new enhancements from spies."

"Things are worse than I had originally imagined. I will look into a way of countering these changes. Kingsley?"

"The Death Eaters have been keeping things quiet but an informant of mine informed me about information. This information shows that they are planning an attack. Only half of the Death Eaters are even aware of this so it explains why Severus has heard nothing."

"Thank you. Your informant must be in a form most informing to inform you of this information you have informed us of."

My head hurts. Ooh look. Tonks is here. See the determination? It seems we've missed our chance. She's going to tell Harry when she sees him next. I'm sure of it. Though the slight amount of trepidation imparts upon me the suspicion that she will ask Albus first. She fears both rejection and persecution.

"Any other news?" Doesn't look like it. "No? Well, I wish for Kingsley and Tonks to keep an eye on Diagon Alley at all times. Mr. Weasley and Mr. Weasley will be presenting a new invention to help with the war next week, is that correct?" They're nodding in unison; I wonder what the invention could be.

"Meeting four hundred and twelve adjourned. Have a pleasant week. Same time next week." No, no. We aren't leaving yet. I want to see how Tonks will ask Albus about her problem. See, she's staying behind. So unless she plans on stealthily taking one of his hairs to wrap it around a watermelon in a bid to create a philosopher's stone, I think that is her plan.

"Headmaster?"

"Pleas call me Albus, Tonks. I haven't been your headmaster in over five years."

"Right, Albus. I wanted to talk to you. I need your advice. You see, I've had these feelings. For someone. But there's a bit of an age difference and, well he hasn't seemed to want to open up in the past. I'm going to tell him how I feel I… I just don't want to be rejected. I was wondering if you could help me know what to say."

"First I would like to ask why you are having this conversation with me rather than someone like your mother. Second I would like to thank you for having the faith in me to ask such a question. Might I assume you are talking about Mr. Lupin?

"What? No. He's more like an uncle, or something. I… I was talking about Harry."

Hmm. Dumbledore can't read people all that well when it comes to this subject matter. I could fit my whole head in his mouth with his jaw that low. It's almost reached the bottom of his beard which is amazing in itself because his beard grows primarily from his jaw.

"Ah, yes, well." He's thinking, he's thinking. You can see the cogs working away in his well oiled thinking machine. "I suggest you just tell him. I find Harry responds best to direct situations. He may be embarrassed at first, hesitant. I'm sure it will work out. If it's true love, it always works out in the end. If it wasn't meant to be then I can always arrange a dinner date with you and Mr. Lupin."

"Uh, I hope that won't be necessary. I'll visit him next weekend so I'll have more time without Auror business. I have to attend some stakeout this weekend. Thank you, sir."

She seems happy and I've sure you noticed that Dumbledore is smiling too. After all, Tonks isn't some squealing fan-girl and it will do Harry good to have a bit more love in his life. Tonks may even be able to keep with his prophecy problem if all works out well.

"He's staying on the East coast due to his recent emancipation. I'll send you a portkey on Friday night. Goodbye, Miss Tonks and have a pleasant evening."

Saturday is the big day then. Why don't we go see how the talking is doing with those two back at the Dog House, huh? Maybe Bella has provoked him enough to repaint the walls a nice greyish pink.

We missed the sunset. Which is a shame. The setting light would splay a lovely orange colour on the western wall. But if we stay overnight, we can still watch the sunrise refract on the glass of the sea facing wall. Not something you want to miss, I assure you.

It seems oddly calm here. One of them must be dead. Actually it's either just Bella or both of them. Let's go see how we're going to dispose of the bodies then.

Oh. Neither's dead. And they're still talking. I need to find out what's going on here. Call it professional curiosity. Ok so Bella was easy last time. I'll do her again.

In. Fist. Turn. Wiggle.

Wow those last few sentences sounded perverted.

Apparently, our dear Harry here has done a remarkably smooth job in contradicting all her previous beliefs resolving blood superiority. While she hasn't completely been turned, she seems rather willing to listen to his side of the argument. Who knew our Harry was such a persuasive person. Just last week, Bella would most likely have killed a cat just for being stroked by a Muggleborn witch or wizard. This would of course be after she tortured the offending Muggleborn and turned them into cat food as a form of ironic punishment for thinking it should be good enough to touch such a magically related animal.

Yes, she was messed up, wasn't she?

It would appear loosing her magic has managed to clear her of some of her more insane tendencies. I believe the start insanity was partially caused by her magic being tainted. Most likely some ritual. Possibly the dark mark or something her parents did.

Now the magic's gone, she has been regaining some sense of sanity slowly. Time will only tell whether the magic she gets back will be her old magic or new, clean magic.

But still, Harry has almost convinced her that blood doesn't matter. In the space of just under an hour, as well. Impressive.

"So could you give me any information as to what Voldemort might be planning?"

Why didn't he ask that sooner? He's had almost an hour, after all.

"Well, he's been planning a series of raids in the south coast. I don't know any real details. I think the first attack was tonight but I'm not sure where."

"Tonight, are you sure?" Ooh we're going to see some action at last.

"Yes. I don't know where though. It's in the south easterly region. Along the coast I think. Anywhere along there."

"I'm gunna' grab my broom. Get a map from somewhere and tell me the area. I'll apparate or something to get there. You can stay here." Off he goes. And Bella's already found a map. Wow, she works fast. And here he comes.

"It's this area here." What bit is it? I can't see the map but I think she's circling the area below London. Ooh Harry's off. I didn't know he could apparate. Let's follow him.

A very dark alleyway, huh? Seems as reasonable a place as any to apparate to. Where's Harry, then? Oh, in the sky. Let's follow him.

Oh don't look at me like that. I'm the Narrator. I am capable of soaring through clouds, looking down upon the earth from orbit or describing it from the view of a beetle on the back of a giraffe. It's in the job description.

Look around. See if you can spot any chaotic happenings caused by men in white masks.

What about that? No. It's simply a Mime parade featuring neon lights. Aha. Harry has seen something. I see it now too. Fire in that large building. The wide, two story one. A school of some sort, it looks like to me.

Come on, we can't be left behind, can we.

Oh. I say. Not a school but an orphanage. One for those up to the age of ten if my reading skills are up to scratch, and if this sign is correct. It would appear the brunt of the force has withdrawn. Still. A few battles will take place here as Harry Potter enacts a justly harsh vengeance on those staying to defile the corpses of the dead.

Quite sickening to behold.

Mutilated bodies of small children.

Guts strewn across the walls and beds.

A pile of skulls freshly hewn from the…

From the…

I feel like going to the zoo, don't you?

o—o  
V--V  
I—I

Another chapter done and the plot is moving to the main turning point. Quite possibly next chapter.

Yes. I'm thinking this will be a Harry/Tonks fic for sure now. It may just be a light pairing but it will be there. Won't say anything else or I may ruin future plot developments.

I will say this though:

Trundle Thwack

And who can name the car Crowley drives in the book I so expertly quoted from in this chapter?

And finally. What does 'El Loco Barba' mean?

That is all.


	4. A Major Plot Moment

Disclaimer? Why would I do that? She's been rather nice.

)-(-)-(  
//\/\/\/\\

Well I can safely say that watching those adorable penguins sleep has helped my mind wipe the memories of that horrific sight. Unfortunately, we missed the action of Harry wailing on a few Death eaters. I'm pretty sure he killed at least five. How do I know as such? The plot told me. It is currently telling me that we are needed at the Dog House. Not only is the next major plot development there, but the sun will rise in a few hours. Seems our Harry spent quite a while bringing retribution to the stragglers.

I think we have time for a quick detour and just in time too. Look. Albus Rocks. I'll never get tired of that. Alright let's go.

Through the front door of this fine building and into the bottom floor. What will advance the plot today? Harry isn't here. How strange. No wait. He's coming in now. We should turn around to see his grand entrance. You first. And now I'll follow. And in 3…2…1… Here's Harry!

And a seven year old girl too. Must be a survivor. Either that or Harry was so enraged by what the Death Eaters did that he decided to kidnap a random child on his way back. I can't quite see the logic in the last one so it must be the first.

"Who's that?"

Ah, talking. For all your plot furthering needs, nothing beats an obvious question.

"This here is Robyn. She's my new daughter."

What? Well I guess that she is a survivor. That he somehow adopted. From the orphanage where everyone else is dead. Including all officials capable of allowing him to legally adopt her. So it is effectively kidnapping. Maybe he has some other plan.

"You adopted a filthy Muggle?"

"Bella." Listen to the warning tone in his voice. I thought I should point it out. You may have missed it otherwise. Well, it's possible. It would appear though that Bella isn't completely cured of her views on Muggles, then. "You will treat her with respect at all times. Do you understand?"

"Yes." The defeat in her voice! She feels ashamed? Impossible!

Or not, apparently since she does.

"Besides. Robyn here is a magic user, too. Found her surrounded by a magical shield. Very impressive at her age. Took me half an hour to calm her down so she'd drop the shield. She asked me to be her father. Quite shocking really but that's what most orphans want. I would know." We're broaching on bad emotional territories here. I do hope he perks up. "So I agreed." Oh good, perkiness is back in full power. I was worried he would go all angsty on us.

"Interesting. A shield at her age. You couldn't take it down?"

"Oh, I could have but I didn't want to hurt or frighten her."

Ooh. Ooh. Sunrise. I told you it was beautiful. So much colour; every one in the spectrum, shown by the glass. I wish I lived here. Just give me a minute to soak in the full beauty. You should try and soak some in too.

Not that you need it, of course. You're beautiful as it is.

We should continue now, to listen to the conversation.

"You still shouldn't keep her."

"And why not?"

"It's dangerous. I don't want you to die because you had to protect some stupid little child during a war." Aw. I didn't know she cared so much.

"And why should you care if I die?" He pulls off the smirk quite well in this instance, don't you think.

"Don't flatter yourself, Potter. If you die and I haven't served the debt fully, my service will pass to my disgusting nephew. I doubt he will be as noble as you." Ah, I see. Not as caring as I thought.

"Well don't worry I have a plan. I'm going to train with little Kai, here."

"You don't have enough time. The dark lord has started his attacks."

"That is why I want to use the Time room in Black Castle."

Time room? I must admit my knowledge and expertise does not extend to this subject, hopefully one of them will explain the basic workings despite the fact that they both know what it does.

"You mean the experimental time dilution room? The one that lets you spend a year inside for every day outside? The one that provides everything the occupant requires? The one that hasn't worked properly yet? The same one that the last tester emerged from with the consistency of a half cooked egg?" Oh, how helpful.

"Yes, that Time Room. I think I know how to get it to work properly. Before. The person going in the room powered the runes outside the room with their magic. The time difference in course of the magic is what causes the rapid degeneration of a person's magic and therefore solidity. So, if you power the room from the outside whilst Robyn and I use it. We'll be fine. In theory."

I understood that perfectly. You did too? Oh good. I'd hate to have to repeat something for the sake of a slow reader.

"I'll need to fix a few things up and we'll start in a week."

A week. What can we do for a week? I've got a fairly fun idea. I'll joint he Death Eaters while you join the Order. Then we'll see if we can meet each other on a battlefield somewhere. How about it? Well alright. Let's get to it. Oh, before I forget. We'll meet up in a weeks time in Florean Fortescue's ice cream parlour. Booth Twelve.

Well, Cheerio.

_Just about one week later…_

Hello, just in time. I ordered you a sundae so I hope you aren't allergic to nuts. How did it go? What's that? You stunned and bound Lucius Malfoy. I had no idea he was out of jail again. What is it, the seventh time? Ah well, good job anyway on the capture. I broke Auror Shacklebolt's leg. Not bad, eh?

You've finished? Good, They're about to enter the Time Room. You haven't been to Black manor before so I'll have to give you a brief over view.

Now then. Allow me to set the mood. It is a dark cloudy evening. Lightning forks down to lick the ground, followed agonizingly by a roll of thunder cresting over the mountains. The rain pounds to the floor and dances between your feet. Each strong gust of wind moves a branch, creaking behind you. A strong silhouette is torn against the lightning sky. An old castle, covered in vines and age. It is here, in the basement, that the Room of Time does dwell. Three figures stand together in the vast eerie basement. The child clings desperately to the man's leg as her shadow jumps once more.

Hey! They redecorated a bit. It's amazing what some fresh carpet and a fresh coat of paint can do for a place. I wouldn't mind living here If they'd put some curtains in to keep the light out. Maybe they'd be interested in time share.

But alas, there is no time for such trivial desires as the hour grows late. Harry and Robyn are about to enter the room. In the week we've been gone, Harry has been fully adopted by Robyn but she is still leery of Ms. Lestrange. How do I know such things?

It's quite simple. You see, unlike the order, The Death Eaters will accept anyone and it's really just like being obligated to going down to the pub with some mates every other day and having a round of beer and a game of darts.

So I just went to a meeting every couple of days or so and listened to Voldy preaching to us about the dangers of accepting rides from Mudbloods. Or something along those lines. And that was it.

So while you were working your way up the ranks of the Auror's and openly announcing yourself a believer in the light and equal rights, I had a lot of time to kill which I used by watching the evenly developing father-daughter relationship this past week. Not that what you did isn't commendable, rising to the rank of first class Auror less than a week after signing up for training is an amazing feat.

Don't look at me like that, I gave you a chance to request the Death Eater route but you said nothing. And if you did, well, I obviously wasn't listening. It doesn't matter now anyway. And look…

You've made us miss the amazing opening door sequence as well as the tense start up scene. Now we'll have to wait another week for them to come out. I suppose we'll just wander around Britain for a while, shall we? Soak up some new and what not? Yes, that sounds like a good idea.

Then to Diagon alley first, I suggest. For what better a place to gather information, than the wizarding Britain Hub itself. Yes, I thought so too. Let's just take a look in the papers in this conveniently placed free newspaper kiosk. Dailey prophet. They were a fairly presentable and honest publication last time I checked.

'**Minister Found in Janitor's Closet, died from Liver failure'** I told you he would look there.

'**New Dark Creatures Bill, Doxies to be exterminated."** How barbaric. I always loved the antics of those flying creatures. Will be a shame to loose them because of a corrupt ministry and what not. What else is there here?

'**Lucius Malfoy is released again, tenth time.' **Oh, so it was the ninth time last time.

'**Cauldron Bottom solution reached, new minimum to be one and a half inches.' **These are all pointless headlines. Don't get me wrong. I'm as intrigued and dismayed by the arguments revolving economically and healthy sizings of cauldron bottoms as the next guy, but this news will do no good to find real things out. Like what the Ministry is doing to help the public in regards to Voldemort.

I need a good, strong paper that will tell the truth and inform the reader about the points that truly matter in their lives.

Ah, the Quibbler. Perfect.

'**Minister uses 'Alcohol Suicide' to Cover Up Donations and Movement to Leader of the Rotfang Conspiracy.' **I knew it! Well, actually I didn't. But it sort of makes sense.

'**Voldy Spotting – Ten Tips To Topple a Toupee'** Quite some interesting tips they have here. I didn't know that Toupees were the natural prey of Wheezing Bloats. You can learn new things everyday.

But we can't expect to get all the information handed to us on a plate! We have to look around, travel to exotic places for the slightest scrap of knowledge. Oh, look… an occurrence at Gringotts. It's our jolly old friends, the Dwarfs. And those goblins don't look to happy with them. See the one arguing with Stoneshoes? I do believe that it's Griphook, the first Goblin to take Harry down to his vault. At least, it was Griphook. Now it is just a bloody smear.

Those dwarfs sure are masters of the shock tactic. Look at that. Just ten seconds and they're in and out with Harry's gold. Not one Dwarf was hurt as well. Extraordinary. Harry will be pleased with that result, I am sure.

I do believe that is all the excitement we are going to get here. But wait, what's this. A hushed conversation? We shall have to listen in. How could we pass up the chance to know something the main character does not?

"Right, so I just rub some cream on it? This thing really hurts."

Not that conversation. That's just disgusting. I meant the one on the other side of the alley. Yes, the one with Pansy Parkinson and Lucius Malfoy.

"This is a large task I am trusting you with. When Draco fails it will be you who completes his task. And in doing so, you shall save his life and invoke the marriage contract as you wished."

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy. I know what I have to do."

Most interesting. So Draco has a seemingly impossible task to achieve. What could it be? Perhaps it is to juggle three elephants. I can never get past two as I lack the manual dexterity and hand-eye co-ordination to juggle the third. Or perhaps he needs to teach a team of twenty seven puffins to sing an in tune medley of Stevie Wonders greatest hits.

Or it could be something completely non animal related, true. But then, where's the fun in that.

But of course! He obviously plans to assassinate Albus Dumbledore. Using a team of expertly trained shrews! No that is just stupid. It's far too easy to teach shrews covert tactics. It must be something harder than that.

We shall dwell on this thought later. For now, we shall convene at our next location. The Dog House. Because, unless you forgot, Ms. Tonks promised a surprise visit at the weekend. But Harry will not be there. How will she react? Only time can tell. Not much time though seeing as I have expertly moved us forward a day or so to the point where she tumbles through he floo.

This may be a point where you question me on the security in place. But fear not, I have not torn a hole in the plot. Quite the opposite. I am strengthening in with the addition of intent driven security systems. Harry did not expressly forbid her access to the house so the wards analysed her intent and found that she meant no harm. All of this was done in a fraction of a second so she fell from the floo service and onto the carpet without any perceived delay.

That's settled that so now it is time to see her reaction to Harry's non attendance. She's walking around, calling his name. "Harry?" He hasn't answered the third time so she's getting agitated. "Harry?" You heard the agitation, right? She's getting worried. "Are you here?" She's moved her search upstairs. Found the rooms, the items that indicate three people have been living here for at least a week.

She can not find any sign of a struggle so she assumes that he has gone somewhere for the night. With whoever it is that is also living here. She has noticed the female based items and can't help but feel a little jealous despite herself. Yep, she's got it bad for our scar-headed Hero.

Her fears of being too late are unfounded, we know, but she does not. She will wait here all night, waking up the next morning on the sofa. She will leave, despondent and not just a little concerned. It is a shame. I wish I could tell her where she is but I am a narrator and, as such, am honour bound to not interfere with the main plot.

Plus, I get to watch her sleep.

I mean…

There was a perfectly normal thing I was going to say, I swear. But due to that slip of the tongue… I forgot what that was. It's happened before to other people. Now let's forget all about what I just said and move on to our next important plot point. Let me just check the 'Big Book of Plot' for a moment. Let's see… here we are. Page two-twenty. An important meeting hinting slightly at plot lines that will only fully emerge later.

Well… You heard me. Quickly, to Riddle Manor, so we may gain a clearer view of current events.

The meeting is already underway.

"Lucius, you have recruited the girl?"

"Yes my lord, she believes she shall obtain my son from it."

"Marvelous. And Severus, the Zabini boy?"

"He has not let his choice be known either way. When the time comes, I do not believe we can rely on him."

"You failed me, Severus. There must be no gaps or surprises for my plan to succeed. Now, Riddle me this…"

NO. As much as I enjoy seeing Snape suffer, I refuse to let them use a batman reference. Yes I understand that his real last name is Riddle, which makes him similar to The Riddler. I also understand that Severus Snape has been referred to many times as a bat, as in Batman, but I simply will not allow them to continue.

We are going somewhere else for a few seconds. Yes, we will let the soothing sound of the waves breaking on the shore calm our minds and hearts. Sigh.

Yes I vocalized the sigh. It's hard not to with my current condition. But enough of your picky-ness. The reference is over. Back to Riddle Manor.

"Nott, your son?"

"Eager and ready, milord."

"Excellent. Enjoy yourselves tonight, my followers. Go, rape, pillage, murder. For by Christmas time, Dumbledore shall fall!"

Yeah. Down with the bearded one! Sorry. It's all part of the image. I am a Death Eater now after all. Speaking of which. An Order meeting is coming up in a few days. Unless you have suggestions, I believe it is best to speed right along to that. With a One, a two, and...

"Settle down. Settle down. Thank you all for coming. First, Mr. Diggory here has been spying on the Parkinsons. Would you like to tell us what you found, Amos?" and so begins another hour or so of boredom and gossip. That's just my opinion of course. You don't even have darts here.

"Thank you, Albus. Now. Mrs. Parkinson has recently bought some new curtains for the downstairs study and I must say, they clash horribly with the carpet, not to mention the other curtains in their house. I do not approve."

"Excellent, Good job. Stephen, anything to add?"

That's Stephen Mosley, some ministry worker. Of course, you already knew that, didn't you, what with all the Order membering you went through.

Membering is a real word. I added it to the dictionary.

"Well, Young Jimmy Hopkirk, Mafalda's boy, has taken up the flute. I swear, you can hear that boy from a mile away. Dreadful noise. But just think. If he goes professional, he'll have come from near us. That'll be something to brag about to those old dears in the Order of the Unicorn, now won't it?"

"That's some interesting news. I had heard rumours about it but it's always best to clear things up, isn't it. Now Severus if you would."

"I'm afraid my attempts to sway the minds of the new recruits have failed. The dark lord has instigated a fear program and has taken to jumping out at new recruits from around corners, behind statues and from dark alcoves. The new blood are too scared to act against him. He has also discovered some sort of new runic system. It primarily involves question marks in a light shad of purple. Possibly lilac or violet."

Oh, I missed that reference. Well, it's been said now.

"Don't feel too bad. Fear can be a valuable ally if used correctly. You tried your best. Here, have a treat…" I didn't know Snape could wag his tail. Especially since he doesn't have a tail.

"Some of you may be wondering where our newest member is. He is currently meeting with a contact in regards to a way to win the war." Well, you are meeting me, I suppose. I could count as a contact. And we all know who's going to win the war for us. So without further procrastination in the form of narration in order to increase the tension felt by the reader, I will move onto the next point of dialogue which will…

Bollocks. I can't think of any thing else to say in order to waste time. I suppose I'll just have to let the story carry on…

"Filth, Blood Traitors in the house of Black! Sacrilege, blasphemy, unclean, fil… Oh, hello Harry dear, Robyn you look a little peaky, are you sure you're eating properly?"

"It's a pleasure to see you again as well, Walburga."

)-(-)-(  
//\/\/\/\\

A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long. I accidentally deleted half of it a while back and got despondent. Then I started writing again and remembered how fun writing this narration is.

Let's face it. We all saw that Quibble joke coming. It was soooo…. Obvious.

No questions this year unless anyone happens to perhaps actually know of a non-nocturnal bat that makes an audible screaming sound?

I doubt it but who cares, really.

So until next time I update…

Read something better than this story. There's a fair few out there.

* * *

**_NO! WAIT DON"T GO YET! I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION THAT YOU MUST AT LEAST READ!!!_**

Sorry about that, but it was necessary.

The question is...

If you had to choose, what would you rather kill, a box of Puppies or a box of Kittens?

Answer in your review


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